so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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