i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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