Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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