Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
