Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
