Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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