I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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