hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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