One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
