Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
