she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
