i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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