she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Im part way to drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
