just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
