New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
