Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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