walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are all done wearing pants today
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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