In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize