Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
