You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
