when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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