Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
