Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
