Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
