Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
