my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
