Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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