Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
