Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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