Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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