Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
