O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
