We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
