I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We need to rekindle our bromance
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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