I cockslap morals
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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