Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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