i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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