Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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