Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
