So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Who died my cat blue again?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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