upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
