she told me i tasted like america
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The Olympian is in my bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
