I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
