How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
