Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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