Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
