Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
