i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
