And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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