it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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